.Bobito.

It has been a while since I have last made a comment on this post, but probably for the better.
Our house, moving, setting up, organizing, working, etc. is well under way, more so than that really- more like settling in nicely, with our garden settled and ourselves settling in to our house, I can start to breathe again! :D
May was a crazy busy month, just trying to organize shit from the house, getting our garden (which is 'late planted', so we were trying to get it all planted asap. ) planted and established, getting all our 'stuff' into the house, setting up water, electricity, and soon to be Internet, etc. All the stuff that comes with two people moving to one location from two totally different places from opposite directions, ;).
May provided to be a tough month emotionally, more or less, as well, and left little room for job searching, through the physical 'busy' sense, as well as little time for 'self' time/mediation from a mental 'busyness'. I was just too much all over trying to get a million things done physically, like riding more, finding horses and clients to ride other horses as a side job and to improve/expand my own riding (!), as well as doing a garden ( 6 gardens total to date....) with a tiller that did not want to work well in the hard, root-bound ground we were tilling up for our Garden III . ( Garden I and II did not provide such an issue,...........), working, moving all the 'stuff', organizing boxes, finding out things we needed for the house, as well as the fact that May was quite an expensive month to boot. Emotionally, mentally, May really opened my eyes as to how much I really do put wayyyy too much on my own plate and think and convince myself that I "know" I should be able to get it all done within a crazy, looks crazy and stressful on paper even, schedule where I am expecting myself to do a weeks worth of work done every day, to the completion. Literally.
I am also learning that I cannot just write down in my list " Organize and finish office, bedrooms, ( insert room name here ), etc. " and expect it to be 'finished'. It is rarely ever that you can start to organize out of various moving boxes of various mismatch 'stuff' and place it all into a finished, ready to work smoothly room without a few deveations from the original plan. There will be things that you cannot afford, things that you do not have, things that you 'can build yourself' or 'fix' or 'refinish' that will take equipment and time-time of which, your 'to do list for the day' does not schedule for/in-, not just a 'unpack and plug in' sort of deal. This "quandry" of a situation, I think, as I think on it now, is typical for a starting out house that we are doing all ourselves, so I really had to kind of let go of the 'get it all done now! today! this week!' attitude and realize, with the help of Danny ( and Guru, God, Diana, Gary, Traci, and Brad ) (!!) that I (we) can only do and organize and set up what we can, what we have, and what we can afford. Plan out what we need and then slowly build a home up, instead of 'poof!', done. We have to give ourselves the credit that we both work pretty much all day, sun up to sun down, and do not have the funds or time to 'create-a-house-instantly'. I figure we can save up for the stuff we 'want' to do with the house and fund the stuff we need and it will come together, like we originally planned, but on a slower, much less stressful schedule. That eases my panicked mind from the "OMG we are not done and on our stressed out, fucked up plan I created" mindset. ;)
School-wise, due to the fact that May was so busy, and we were behind on our original plan of setting everything up for school at the house ( online summer classes for both of us ), we made the decision to back the classes up to try in July, instead of June, to give ourselves another month of working and for both of us to establish better work, mindsets, and settling in-ness, as well as a freaking break from the stress of 'getting all this stuff done as soon as humanly possible" thought process we both were kind of creating (more me) and feeding off each other. So, realistically, we needed to not go to classes yet; our Internet is still on the up ( getting it up ), and financially and mentally not at the point to adding in another 'to do' study sheet on the list of 'to do's' right now. So, we have things we need to do first before enrolling in more shit to do. And damn, it's not like I am slacking off, we are working our asses off, and going to summer classes (online or not ) is a CHOICE that I have decided, so I should and do dictate when and how without guilt. ( Like I do, and should do, for my classes in general. ) I know what is best for me to do, and that was it. So, anyway, working without classes is going well. I would not have been able to handle more than what I have now, right now.
-Em, the dictator of her own life. ( guided by God and influenced by those that I keep and know are closest to me, whom I admire.)